Life cycle of a modern day relationship:
She was on Instagram. He was on Twitter. They met on LinkedIn. She put up an eHarmony profile. He changed his avi to a monkey riding a dog. She texted 😬. They blocked each other.
started football season off with a BIG win and even BIGGER smiles #brigade #sophmoreyear #firsthalftimeperformance
@cece.claire @sidneymckeand @_caitlynhobbs @madzwilliamz
it’s ⭐️senior⭐️ szn babyyy #notgoodatmonograms #oopsie
@madzwilliamz
Jobs with highest mortality rates (2021):
1. Grizzly bear nap-waker-upper
2. Consumer products tester, Bathtub Toaster Division
3. Conservative radio talk show host ...read more
Please do not abbreviate names of places in conversations until there is universal agreement on the abbreviation.
“I'm headed over to TJ's.”
“What the hell is that?”
“Trader Joe's.” ...read more
THEM: Check out my new watch.
ME: So what are you looking for? Do you wanna pawn it? Do you wanna sell it?
THEM: Have you been watching "Pawn Stars" again?
ME: Before I answer, let me bring in my watch guy. ...read more
Whoever keeps saying, “What's the worst that can happen?,” PLEASE STOP. It's not funny anymore.
⚡️happy last hoco⚡️ #myppl
~maddie on madzwilliamz
@_caitlynhobbs @alec_25 @averycarol @cece.claire
instagram ...read more