Growing up is great, other than never having fun again.

With climate change, I'm concerned about all of the hot messes reaching dangerous temperatures.

To people who say “my way or the highway,” the highway looks pretty awesome

If your baby's name isn't “Obadiah,” dont invite me to your stupid baby naming.

Where's a good place to start with books? I've heard mixed things.

Might Single-White-Female someone this weekend if I have the energy.

I know the media is going to allow all the enablers to go on “distancing and redemption tours.”

Don't let them. Never let them live down the last four years.

The words “wifey” and “hubs” have made me vomit more than any flu or drinking binge.

It is not honorable or admirable to give up your career and let down everyone around you to “fight for what you believe in,” when the thing you believe in is at best wrong and at worst stupid and damaging.

Tip if you're writing an autobiography or memoir:

MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD.

Time Traveler's Mistake:

Forgetting to learn anything useful about language, history or science before trip.

I see that some of you are just now learning about the devastating power of battle raps.