SONG: 🎶If you're happy and you know it--

ME: You can stop right there.

Sorry if my poignant and thought-provoking tweet spoke to the essence of your very soul. My bad.

I wish there were prizes for being angry.

Conflicted:

I don't want to interact with anyone.

But I also want everyone to know how much I hate them. ...read more

There's nothing more infuriating than seeing a baby on vacation.

People get weird when you're in the middle of a conversation and you try to pierce their nose.

Does anyone need the services of the opposite of a motivational speaker?

Do the people who brag about eating those incredibly hot peppers know that no one cares?

Please do not call me a “Jar-Jar.” It is a horrible slur to my people.